did it again is the second single off her sixth album "impossible princess", released in 1997.
it's in moment like these that did it again's chorus rings out to me (...won't you listen to me when I'm telling you it's no good for you...). there are many times i act above it, but the truth is i don't anything at all. i don't even DO anything about it. i let it sit. i did it again (oops! i did it again... if we wanna go there) it's humbling and reassuring at the end, but it leaves you empty. you torment yourself for so long that once its taken away, you feel nothing.
i know somewhat of the circumstances of did it again's release and "impossible princess" album. in the music video, she appears as cute kylie, indie kylie, sex kylie, and dance kylie. her personas fight and in the end everyone gets injured in the process and cute kylie thinks she's won the fight. in many ways, these diff versions of her public personas are like diff sides of me fighting to become me. i think it's reassuring that i don't know the whole picture all the time. i take things step by step and i don't have to do it all at once.
did it again is about self sabotaging. you can immerse yourself to the dream and get drowned in the fantasy that will yet to exist. what you have fantasized, what you've been telling yourself to not do but end up surrendering because you think you know better but you don't know anything at all. you succumb to the illusions in your mind and realize you've fallen for the same trick. nobody wins. kylie is a cautionary narrator to herself as she takes a step back to see everything. she foretells and reaffirms her misgrievances.
she is my second voice. once in a while, i explode. i burst into tears, become incoherent, and run away. my face paints itself red as thoughts run an endless race. kylie made me realize that i'm not alone in worst habits, nor when i go towards an uncomfy route in my scenarios.
there is no conclusion in this post, because i know i will keep going to the dark roads. i will try not to explode. i have people online and in real life that love me. kylie reminds that this pattern has happened before and will continue. it's not something you can't stop, because it's an inevitable expereince of the human being to beat themselves up, justified or not.
END-ISH.
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this was a spur of a post. i meant to write something about nct earlier but jesus it's just non stop with the group. i've dropped the idea. i'll think of something more polished to write soon. i hope i'm not setting myself up.
it's been a while since i wrote here. i graduated (yay), and much has happened in my personal life. great and small bad things all together.
i feel happy. i don't have a job, but i do what i can to use my brain and be social in person and/or online. i like being occupied in my time. it feels like i'm doing something productive, even though i don't know what i'm doing. it's scary sometimes to not know what the end goal is, but, cmon, i got to do SOMETHING. let's hope for more leaflets!